In a recent enlightening episode of the podcast, Mitch Whiting, joined by hosts Dan Page and Shane Hickenlooper, delved into the depths of living life fully and overcoming personal challenges. Mitch, with his candid nature, shared his journey and insights, leaving listeners with profound thoughts to ponder.

The Shackles of ‘Should’

Mitch initiated the conversation by addressing a common trap many fall into – the ‘shoulds’ in life. This concept refers to the pressure and guilt we place on ourselves, stemming from our internal dialogue. Mitch pointed out how phrases like “I should go for a run” or “I should post today on LinkedIn” are more than mere thoughts; they’re shackles that bind us to shame and unfulfilled expectations.

Embracing the Community Spirit

The discussion shifted to Mitch’s move to Arkansas and his work with corporate Walmart. He reflected on the sense of community in Bentonville, Arkansas, where he encountered a unique culture of support and belonging. This experience was eye-opening for Mitch, highlighting the significance of feeling needed over loved, an idea originally posited by Clayton Christensen.

The Journey from Corporate to Coaching

Mitch recounted his transition from a high-stress corporate job to becoming an accidental entrepreneur. This shift wasn’t just a career change but a complete transformation of his life. He found himself helping people who were facing similar struggles, turning this into a lucrative and fulfilling coaching business.

Realization and Transformation

A pivotal moment in Mitch’s journey was his realization that he was living a life of suppressed personality and high stress, masked by a facade of happiness. This led him to explore various self-help methods, eventually discovering that the key to lasting change was understanding and rewiring the human brain.

The Concept of Self-Transformation

Mitch emphasized the distinction between temporary motivation, as offered by self-help, and permanent transformation, which comes with self-transformation. This involves changing core beliefs and rewiring the brain to move from a primal state of stress and anxiety to a state of power and control.

The Three-Step Process to Overcoming Shame

One of the highlights of the conversation was Mitch’s three-step process for dealing with shame: identify shame, respond with grace, and choose grace over shame. This approach helps individuals move from a place of guilt and obligation to one of freedom and desire.

Building a Life of Fulfillment

For Mitch, fulfillment comes from not just achieving goals but in becoming more of who he truly is. He shared his strategies for personal growth, focusing on consistent action and alignment with one’s values.

Finding the Right Coach

Towards the end of the podcast, the conversation turned to the topic of selecting the right coach. Mitch advised that alignment and resonance with a coach’s message are key. He stressed the importance of investing in oneself and being open to guidance.

Mitch’s Future Vision

As for what lies ahead, Mitch is focused on ‘becoming’ rather than setting specific goals. He plans to continue his personal growth journey while helping others do the same, emphasizing the joy of the process and the fulfillment of the journey. This episode with Mitch Whiting was not just a conversation but a journey into understanding the power of the mind and the importance of living a life aligned with one’s true self. His insights serve as a guide for anyone seeking to transform their life from a state of mere existence to one of profound fulfillment.

Connect with Mitch

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mitchwhiting/
https://www.mitchwhiting.com/

Podcast Transcript

0:00

the way we identify shame is becoming familiar with the words that we use in our brains that are shame okay should is

0:07

a shame word that’s the number one okay so I should go for a run I should post today on LinkedIn I shouldn’t Miss I

0:14

should post every day I should post whatever it is we have all of these shoulds in our life okay there’s people

0:20

jokingly say like stop shoting all over yourself need to have to got to and must

0:26

are shame in Disguise hey this is Mitch Whiting and this is scroll

0:32

[Music] sessions Mish we’re excited to have you

0:37

on today thanks for joining us thanks for flying you flew in only for us right all the way from Arkansas feels so good

0:44

feels so good to see the mountains feels good to are there any mountains in Arkansas there are it’s we’re in the Ozark Mountains but people in Utah would

0:51

inevitably say those aren’t mountains those are Hills which they be right compared to here but yeah yeah yeah

0:57

what’s like Max altitude uh I mean it’s like 1,200 feet so it’s really they’re

1:02

not I don’t know what it is it’s there’s no mountains comp but it’s very hilly gorgeous green trees everywhere yeah

1:09

beautiful and the Ozarks I actually one of my favorite TV shows is Ozark really with Jason baitman nice I haven’t seen

1:15

it oh my gosh it’s incredible but it’s also uh it’s a little dark it’s very dark comedy yeah and it go Jason

1:23

Batman’s character is the way he is in real life and you recognize he just kind of a jerk but great show very different

1:30

from Arkansas where I live is very light very happy yeah yeah so you aren’t from Arkansas no but you when did you move

1:38

there uh a few years ago I joined corporate Walmart and that’s how I discovered the magic of Bentonville it’s

1:45

where Sam Walton founded Walmart and we just fell in love with the community it’s just an amazing amazing place what

1:51

is it that you loved about the community yeah the best way I can describe it is from a quote from Clayton Christensen

What Mitch loves about the community

1:57

who said that people would rather feel needed than loved and I haven’t forgotten that quote and I’ve never seen

2:04

that principle be more fully lived out than in Northwest Arkansas because nobody has family and there there were

2:10

times like when we moved out there a month before Thanksgiving for example we in the grocery store and some super nice

2:18

Southern woman just starts talking to us right she said what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving and we’re like oh we don’t know yet you’re coming over and

2:24

it’s that kind of like that kind of community because no one has family and you just you need each other

2:30

wow that’s really interesting why have you like why have you chosen to stay in Arkansas uh the friends the community

2:37

yeah it’s it’s also the lowest cost of living state in the country everyone in Arkansas would hate me for saying all of

2:43

this because the traffic’s getting worse everybody’s figuring out how amazing Benton don’t come to arkans there shirts

2:50

yeah there’s shirts that say like move to fville like Bentonville is lame just because people you know don’t want

2:56

people to live there as much but it’s amazing we love it so well I mean what what took you out to Arkansas like why I

What took Mitch out to Arkansas

3:03

mean other than Walmart like why why choose to stay there why get into what you’re doing now yeah um I guess there’s

3:11

two questions there what took us to Arkansas truly was Walmart and then we fell in love with the community I took a

3:16

job out here in Utah for a year and a half it was amazing opportunity and then I became an accidental entrepreneur I

3:23

you know we can get way deeper into my story but I went from you know really struggling to transforming my life in a

3:31

way that enabled me to help other people who I saw were struggling in a similar way that I was and the more that I

3:38

offered to help people the more people wanted help and so it became a business

3:44

and at one point I was making more money in 10 hours a week than I was in 40 hours a week in my day job and I’m like

3:51

okay well this is not only what I want to do but financially it made sense and so I always thought entrepreneurship

3:58

would be like a leap the entrepreneurial leap right where you burn all boats and don’t have a plan B and so you have to

4:04

like make it work but for me it was something much different which was serving and loving and building and

4:11

giving in the way that I knew how and from that inevitably success comes from

4:16

is what I believe what what was the Catalyst to you know start you on that Journey uh it’s not I it’s probably not

What was the catalyst to Mitchs journey

4:24

I mean maybe it is a single decision it was probably a series of decisions then obviously it’s like oh makes sense

4:30

logically I’m making more money in 10 hours than I am in 40 and this is fun and I enjoy it but like what was the

4:36

what was the catalst to to make that change yeah I have this picture

4:41

that I really really treasure because it’s a picture of me on a on an

4:47

executive jet working for Walmart the largest company in the world and you don’t have to know me at all to look at

4:53

that picture and to see that I was struggling like I’m smiling but my eyes like you know the difference when

4:59

someone really smiling versus when they’re trying to smile and you just see suffering behind my eyes and the the

5:06

crazy thing about it is I did not know that I was suffering in that moment I was on an executive jet for the first

5:11

time I thought it was awesome I was like living the dream right this your first job out of college this is my first job out of college and your role you were

5:18

telling me before this was a role that many people take a long time to get some

5:23

many people take this role 12 to 15 years you know into their career and it it’s the dream air the dream it was a

5:28

miracle for me it was a series of events that led to me getting this role and um

5:34

I was happy I thought but I was really suffering and um it wasn’t until I was

5:40

at the doctor’s office a few a few months later where I was getting an allergy shot in my rear end because it

5:47

snows polling in Arkansas it’s really brutal uh in the spring but how stressed

5:52

are you and I thought about it in all the things that I was grateful for I was

5:58

a pretty optimistic person person and I said probably like a two out of 10 and

6:03

my wife who’s so loving and so authentic and so precise looked at me and said are you kidding me you’re like a nine and I

6:11

sat between my wife and this doctor feeling a little bit awkward you know it’s kind of like when you tell your love story and you have differing

6:17

details and it just like starts to feel awkward you know um but some part of me

6:23

knew she was right but it was the first moment that I had ever started to realize it and so I think I said something like probably like an eight

6:29

out of 10 and just we moved on and then it was shortly after that that one of my mentors and friends was talking to me on

6:35

the phone and I was just very open with him about how I was feeling about life and the things I was struggling with and

Why Mitchs personality was suppressed

6:41

he said listen you’re Mitch Whiting you love people like I’ve never seen before you’re a high achiever you’re this

6:48

you’re that but do you realize you view yourself as a wounded bird and that

6:53

pierced my soul it just hit me so hard and I knew that I was truly living a 9 out of 10 stressed life and I looked

6:59

back back and I was I would go to downtown Bentonville Square where you always run into friends and people that

7:04

you know and I remember times looking at my wife and saying hey we should go into that store over there before she would

7:11

see the our friends when I would see them because I didn’t want to talk to them the people that I love the most

7:16

because my personality was suppressed and I didn’t want people asking about me and so from there I just knew I wanted

7:23

to change why do you feel like your personality was suppressed and that you didn’t want people asking about you yeah

7:30

I um I found something very interesting

7:36

which was that a lot of my clients experien this as well which are people that are high performing yet still

7:43

experiencing a high level of suffering and one of the the things that they experience without being conscious of is

7:50

they feel like they’re not as far along as they should be while simultaneously

7:56

feeling like a fraud for being as far along as they are this really unique

8:01

dichotomy where you can feel both at the same time and I think part of the reason

8:08

why I was so unaware is because gratitude was getting in my way that sounds like a very strange concept when

8:14

we talk about gratitude being one of the most powerful emotions that we can feel and true gratitude of course doesn’t get

8:21

in the way but the form of gratitude that a lot of us experience does which is to be grateful for all that we have

8:28

in a way that doesn’t allow us to admit that we want and need more from life and

8:34

so when I’m sitting in the doctor’s office I’m thinking about my beautiful wife my kids I’m thinking about the job

8:40

that I have my relationship with God like my friends and family that love me not and ignoring the fact that I have

8:46

like 50 hours a week that I’m spending in stress anxiety overwhelm self-doubt comparison judgment shame hesitation

8:53

procrastination and so what what I found is a higher form of gratitude I person

8:59

person believe the highest form of gratitude is abundance and true abundance is to be able to be grateful

9:04

for everything you have and for that to be enough With Arms Wide Open for all that God still has for you that it’s

9:10

okay to admit that you want and need more from life because God wants that for you he wants to give you more and

How Mitch became more grateful

9:18

how like how how did how did you make that shift to then becoming more more

9:24

grateful for for everything because you obviously took a job here in Utah right

9:29

yeah yeah um I picked up a book called grit because like my clients the problem

9:35

that they think they have the false problem if they think they don’t have enough grit commitment Focus um you know

9:43

and so I picked up a a book grit actually you know my one of my family members sent it to me they must have

9:49

clearly seen that I had the same problem just kidding um and yeah after uh

9:54

reading that book I was still struggling and so IED picked up another book which

10:00

was um oh um David gogins oh yeah uh

10:06

can’t hurt me yeah and I thought you know if grit isn’t enough maybe I need to learn how to suffer how to love how

10:12

to love to suffer and he has a very interesting approach to like pretty much just calling everyone pieces of crap

10:18

exactly and that’s how I felt about myself once I realized I was living a nine out of 10 stressed life and I was

10:24

unaware of it yeah it’s it’s like pure self-deprecation basically so I read

10:29

that book and I found out something very unique about myself that must be different than most people which is I hate

10:36

suffering nobody hates nobody just me and so that didn’t work for me and so I

10:41

thought you know maybe I just need to hack my habits and so I read a Tomic habits and uh it was inspiring and

10:48

motivating like I think the other three million people who have read it but for me it wasn’t

10:53

transformative I it takes 21 days or whatever and I don’t even know that that was in that book but I’ve grown up with

10:59

this idea that it takes 21 days to build a habit and um I would always be disappointed when I would do it for 21

11:05

days and then I’d miss and I feel like I’m starting over again and so it didn’t it didn’t Transform Me long term and so

11:10

then I thought you know none of this is working and so maybe I need to forget about grit and suffering and habits and

11:17

I you know found a book called willpower doesn’t work let’s just forget about the willpower and do the opposite and I

11:24

still was struggling and so then I thought maybe none of this is my issue so you maybe

11:29

self yeah like and and I’ve been listening to self-help Tony Robbins and

11:35

self-help like reading like How to Win Friends and Influence People the greatest salesman in the world by Aug manino since I was 10 years old yeah and

11:42

that’s what a lot of my clients experience as well which is a frustration that they’ve read all the books they’ve listened to all the

11:48

podcasts they know the YouTube goobers and entrepreneurs but they’re still not experiencing the alignment the

11:55

transformation within themselves we experiencing the promises which is right where you were at right where I was at

12:00

and so I thought maybe none of this is the issue maybe it’s not grit maybe it’s not focus maybe it’s not commitment maybe I just need more money that will

12:06

solve my problems and so like Robert kosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad and I go into like maybe I need to sell vending

12:12

machines and have passive income maybe it’s ebooks someone else’s ebook that I can Rebrand and sell maybe it’s we

12:18

actually started an Etsy shop to try to sell like covid forms and like all this

12:23

stuff and uh that didn’t work either and what I what I realized was I was missing

12:28

was I now call the manual to the greatest technology of the universe the human brain under needing to understand

12:35

not just the psychology and the self-help or psychology and philosophy that we all love from self-help which I

12:42

think is perfectly named self-help because it’s so helpful when you’re listening to the podcast or you are you

12:49

know reading the book You’re motivated you’re inspired and it’s helpful but I ultimately found it was temporary

12:54

compared to what I now call self- transformation which is to understand the neuroscience science of how to

12:59

rewire your brain so that you can move from reframing your thoughts to rewiring

13:04

your brain temporary motivating inspiring to permanently transformative

13:10

and that’s when my life began to change I learned the ability to change my core

13:16

beliefs to rewire my brain in a way that got me my 50 hours a week back of living

13:22

in what I call Primal State the stress anxiety overwhelm self-doubt hesitation

13:28

procrastin ination judgment shame comparison so what was it cuz you were

Self transformation

13:33

reading all these books trying to find the answer what was it that actually helped you realize wait I need self-

13:39

transformation instead of just like self-care I know your Runner did running

13:45

have anything to do with it was it another book you read was it a coach what was it that took you from man

13:51

self-care is not working to oh it’s self transformation yeah like it was more self-awareness than anything like just

13:57

understanding yourself better I think it began with self-awareness right like realizing that I was suffering for the

14:03

first time really admitting it you know allowed me to then have some

14:08

self-acceptance of who I am and that it’s okay to suffer right and when for high performers it’s

14:15

really hard because like you think like this term anxiety is like so heavily used in our society and there’s like

14:21

diagnosed anxiety but then there’s anxiety that every human experiences every day it’s a normal part of life if

14:28

you’re not experiencing anxiety that means you stopped breathing like if we’re living we’re experiencing Stress

14:33

and Anxiety and um I don’t think I was okay with saying I feel anxious because

14:39

I felt like I was labeling myself when I was like well no I’m not struggling to get out of bed like I’m performing at a

14:46

very high level but I was spending 50 hours of every week in an anxious State

14:51

and so I was struggling and and so um I can’t remember your question just like

14:58

how how did you get from the more or less self-aware to transformation like what what what took those steps to make

15:04

that happen yeah I mean a lot of action that’s what I think was missing uh for

15:10

me in a lot of ways was we learn and we learn and we learn without and it’s not

15:16

not taking action all of us are trying we’re taking action but it’s consistent daily action I was actually I took this

15:22

um it’s called the Adobe Creative type test and I got my result back of what my

15:28

creative type wasn’t it said I was a Visionary and um I thought cool sounds

15:34

awesome and I read it and it did resonate pretty deeply with me and it said I see potential in everyone and

15:40

everything around me which has always felt true and it I mean it’s the reason I’m a coach now like my mom’s always

15:46

called me a rescuer I’ve always been there for people and seen their potential and um it said it said my

15:53

untapped potential which is really interesting because the very thing we always go to is like where’s our weakness right we don’t focus on our

15:59

strengths and so I’m like oh untapped potential like that’s what the problem is and I think it was right it said my

16:04

untapped potential was consistently fueling my Visions with daily

16:10

action I was like oh my word of the year that year in that moment with my wife was consistency this is when I was

16:16

living that nine out of 10 stress life I’m like I’m not consistent in anything and so I like let’s just can we have

16:21

that be our word of the year my wife’s like sure that’s a great word of the year you know I was just begging to like become consistent as a person and so I

16:28

started posting content on LinkedIn daily and a lot of people post content

16:34

on LinkedIn for the opportunity to make money to grow a business to become a solopreneur but for

16:40

me I just did it because I was struggling I wanted something to be consistent in and that was the thing I

16:46

decided to be consistent in and what most people don’t know is that we retain 10% of what we read but we retain 90% of

16:54

what we teach others and so for me it’s all about been it’s been always about becoming it’s been about me committing

17:00

to myself to learn something every day to digest it and be able to write it in a way that might impact others but that

17:07

I would remember and transform from that understanding and that that lesson I love that it’s something that I think is

Anxiety and consistency

17:12

common is uh people will assume uh anxiety and consistency

17:19

sometimes have uh a lot in common and you know coming from the Running World and this something that even I’ve

17:25

struggled with being consistent sometimes I get anx around it so I’m

17:30

like if I’m not consistent then I have anxiety around the fact I’m not consistent and then I’m sitting there instead of on a run anxious right

17:38

procrastination what is it about what is it about the consistency that brings you

17:43

anxiety the the fear that I’m not going to uh be able to keep it up like you’ll

17:50

miss you’ll miss a run miss a run end up being another run that you miss yeah Miss A Linked In Post and then beat

17:56

yourself up over it yeah yeah that’s that’s uh shame which is really

18:01

interesting kind of a buzzword in the day that we live in but the more that I’ve learned about shame I have learned

18:07

that it’s pervasive that’s the word I use for shame pervasive in all of our lives and I created a model a three-step

18:14

process of replacing uh shame with grace that I’d be L to share with you pleas do

18:19

it right now it would help you with running it would help you with um posting on LinkedIn the three steps are

18:24

first to identify shame okay the second step is to respond to shame with Grace

18:31

and then the third step is to choose Grace over shame okay identify respond

18:37

choose the way we identify shame is becoming familiar with the words that we use in our brains that are shame okay

18:45

should is a shame word that’s the number one okay so I should go for a run go for a run I should post today on LinkedIn I

18:52

shouldn’t Miss I should post every day I should post whatever it is we have all of these shs in our life okay there’s

18:59

people jokingly say like stop Shing all over yourself and it’s a good term because it’s uh unless you say I

19:06

shouldn’t should all over myself then you’re shaming yourself about shame which we also how much wood would wood chuck chuck that’s right um and so

19:14

should is a shame word is one of the best ways you can identify shame but need to have to got to and must are

19:21

shame in Disguise those really get you I need to do this I’m getting anxiety just to thinking about that cuz I use those

19:27

words every day every day pervasive that’s the word every day with yourself every day with

19:32

yourself every day with myself we’re using shame and so once we identify it I just call it out I just say oh that was

19:39

shame second step is Now to respond to shame with grace and the way we do that

19:44

is just with one sentence that we say to ourselves which is I don’t have

19:50

to just release ourselves I don’t have to and it gets really interesting when you think of all the things you don’t

19:55

have to do I’m a father and a husband and I love being a father and husband

20:01

but I also through the lens of Grace realize I don’t have to be a father and a husband if I don’t want

20:09

to there’s a lot of people not being a father anymore that aren’t there for their kids there’s a lot of husbands

20:14

that are no longer married that are no no longer there for their wives but what I find about myself is from a place of

20:20

Grace is that I’m freaking awesome because I love my wife and I love my kids and I show up every day not because

20:27

I have to even though there’s times where we feel like we have to but when we realize that we don’t have to we get

20:33

to choose Grace which takes us to the third step which is to choose Grace over shame and there’s two ways that we can

20:38

choose Grace over shame one of them gets really interesting which is to say and I don’t want

20:44

to huh because shame makes us feel like okay I don’t have to but then we go

20:50

right back to but I have to right and we show up as a dad or as a husband or whatever you know as a runner as a

20:55

LinkedIn poster and um um the best example I can give to people

21:02

that are believers of God is a lot of times we have this desire to pray of

21:09

course but we have this shame that comes up at night where we get into bed exhausted at the end of the day and we

21:15

think I should say a prayer right you ever experienced this we all have and I

21:20

just say oh that’s shame that I should pray and instead I then say I don’t have

21:26

to and it’s really weird it’s like feels like rebellious sometimes when I share this with people who are who are

21:32

believers and um the next thing that I have said which is the first way to

21:37

choose Grace over shame is and I don’t want to and I go to bed with a smile

21:42

total peace knowing that God’s not like I need your prayer he doesn’t need

21:48

my prayer like it was for me in the first place and that’s totally okay the second way which is the most common way

21:55

we choose Grace over shame because of how incredible we are especially from a place of Grace we realize that we’re

22:01

freaking awesome like I said we say but I can and I want to and so the next time

22:07

you feel I don’t want or I should go on a run you just identify that’s shame and you say I don’t have to go on a run but

22:14

I can and typically you find you want to right okay and then you come from a

22:19

place of Desire instead of Duty and the fancy word for desire is Faith and Faith precedes Miracles you experience

22:26

miracles in your life and you become someone who’s consistent rather than someone who does things consistently

22:32

there’s a big difference there well and I think that I mean going back to you referenced Atomic habits and there’s a

22:39

big piece in there where he talks about basically wanting to become your future

22:44

self and obviously compounding habits can get you there but he talks about the

22:50

easiest way to do those compounding habits is to basically foresee yourself

22:55

it’s the the desire of the the one’s future self that will get you there you want to be a runner you need to do

23:02

things that put you in that mindset of a runner right totally change your identity and then you become that

23:09

identity one of the things that I found that’s slightly different in fact it’s

23:14

very different thinking than that but it gets you to a very similar result which is I personally believe that you cannot

23:20

become a better version of yourself but only more of who you really are like Michelangelo spoke of his sculpture

23:26

David he didn’t sculpt David but rather took everything away that wasn’t David yeah and again what we find behind Grace

23:34

is that we’re freaking awesome we’re these powerful beings like amazing people and it’s really the hours that

23:41

we’re spending in this Primal State instead of a powerful state that is suppressing our personality suppressing

23:47

the real us and it’s by doing the work of chipping away everything that’s not

23:52

us that we reveal our most powerful self who ends up being someone who’s very consistent very intentional very present

23:59

with the people they love typically pretty funny people are pretty funny and uh really awesome and so the work that I

24:06

do with my clients is to help them chip away all of the hours that they’re spending in a primal state that are

24:11

keeping them from being their real self so gra I guess my last question on it

24:16

would be grace and accountability H how do I still find accountability when I’m giving myself so much grace yeah because

24:24

I think a lot of times when I give myself too much Grace I’m like no I

24:30

deserve a day off or I don’t need to do that or I don’t want to do that today then I start to chip away at my

24:36

accountability and I don’t hold myself as accountable so what would be your response to that like how do I still

24:41

find accountability in that process I I can clearly see why that’s a fear I

24:48

think once you experience Grace it’ll change you and you’ll see that you’re

24:53

actually more consistent and powerful than you realize and that it’s imp possible to create powerfully from a

25:00

primal state but from a powerful State you can do nothing but create powerfully Grace is a powerful State it’s a very

25:07

powerful State shame not so much it’s a primal State and so our shame is actually keeping us from operating at

25:13

our highest level and From Grace again you reveal your real self living in a powerful state is to be in alignment

25:19

with who you really are which is a play a person who’s consistent and intentional and funny and present and

25:26

you’ll just find that you actually love to run you actually love to move your body you actually love to be in

25:32

conversations with people you actually love to reach out and serve and build and love and create in the way that

25:37

you’ve always wanted to but it’s these Primal states that are keeping us from doing it wow it’s incredible you say

25:43

that because I think that the people that I see that I want to be like where I see people out there that are running

25:50

all the time or successful entrepreneurs I see them out in the world and I’m like what is it inside of you that click so

25:58

much that you can be so confident so aware and so actionable at all times and

26:03

to me it seems like they are always in action and confident and I think you’re

26:09

kind of answering it in the way that is impossible to be understood which is that they give themselves Grace to

26:15

understand themselves once you really understand yourself you are in that state of you’re not being Primal anymore

26:21

you’re Progressive and you’re actually working towards something so that’s pretty incredible I I’ve never understood it that way what for you

26:28

Mitch what was like the the shift like I maybe there was a single instance maybe

26:35

there wasn’t of when you like decided to not be shameful anymore MH like what what what was the Catalyst to you did

26:41

you know coming up with your three-step method coming up with you know and realizing that hey this is obviously a

26:47

problem for myself probably a problem for a lot of high Achievers and how how

26:53

how did that all start yeah because you can coach other people to do it so there has to have been that experience for you

26:59

too right it was I discovered it I basically co-created it across many different coaching sessions of clients

27:06

where I just realized that over and over again as we as we dove into the deeper

27:11

the unconscious thinking that was you know negatively impacting my clients lives and keeping them from living um

27:18

I’ll tell a story that’s like really a good example of this which is this is one of the most impactful coaching

27:24

moments that I’ve had in my life which was this client who since the age of 12 has been afraid that he will go to

27:30

prison okay very unique very unique limiting belief for no reason the he has

27:36

done nothing illegal very ethical powerful person and um the challenge

27:42

with this individual is that his dad was put in prison in 2008 during the financial market crash and so when that

27:51

happened the meaning that he assigned to his experience which is what our beliefs are they’re the meaning that we assigned

27:57

to our experience was that someone could frame me at any time I’m probably going

28:02

to go to jail too so from age 12 to age 30 every day he’s lived in fear every

28:08

day he’s lived in fear and when you when you when you have this thought of you know I’m going to go to jail and you

28:16

really look at it it’s easy to have shame of like what’s wrong with me yeah I’m not

28:22

going to go to jail obviously right like am I stupid like that our brains go there right and we like

28:28

yeah like I haven’t done wrong of I’m not going to to prison but there’s a difference between knowing something is true and believing it’s true we can know

28:36

that we’re good enough but in the moment do we believe we’re good enough no we can know things are going to work out

28:41

but in the moment do you and I believe that it’s going to work out no and so not always does you know our belief

28:46

align with our with our logic and that’s the experience for all of us but in his case with going to prison and so the

28:53

Judgment side of our brain the shame side side of our brain looks at our thinking like I’m going to go to prison

29:00

but I’ve done nothing wrong as really stupid like our brains like we start beating ourselves up and saying like why

29:07

would think why would I think that that doesn’t make sense at all um but what I invite my clients to observe their minds

29:13

with is Fascination curiosity and Grace instead of the judgment and shame because judgment and shame prevents us

29:20

from ever seeing our unconscious thinking clearly and so from a place of Fascination curiosity and Grace I asked

29:27

him question after question after question to really understand like what’s everything that he’s experiencing

29:32

around his thinking and ultimately one of the things that I shared with him this was in a this was in a group of 10

29:38

other individuals that I was coaching at the time in one of my group coaching programs and um he’s just so courageous

29:46

right like sharing this openly sharing his story one of the first times he had ever publicly shared that his dad even

29:51

went to prison right he has 10 people in this yeah never he’s like had told one other person

29:57

and um he one of the things that I shared with him was that when we live from a place

30:05

of fear we immediately guarantee the very thing we’re afraid of and so he’s

30:11

afraid that he’s going to go to prison on occasion I’ve referred to the Primal State as the prison State and the

30:18

powerful State as the freedom state every day since he was 12 years old he’s

30:23

lived in a state of prison of being afraid of going to prison so when we act from a place of fear we

30:30

immediately guarantee the very thing we’re afraid of and when we transformed his limiting belief I said how do you

30:36

feel right now and he looked at me emotional tears said I feel free not

30:42

even thinking about the analogy there and I said that’s what it feels like to walk out of prison for the first time

30:48

and someone else in the group goes it sounds like you served your time oh that’s cool was really amazing and so we

30:55

all walked out of that session deciding that we’d all served our time living in this state of stress anxiety

31:02

overwhelm and we were ready to go use my methodologies to go do the work to transform to rewire our brains and to

31:09

step into Freedom step into a powerful State consistently that’s awesome I think it I I hope I’m quoting this right

Removing Fear

31:16

but I think it’s Tony Robbins and he says something to the effect of like once you remove fear like gratitude

31:23

usually fills its space right and then gratitude leads to abundance and so like I think those it’s really

31:31

true like I have no doubt like immediately once he removed those fears like his immediate you know his

31:38

immediate response is you know gratitude isn’t it interesting right his whole life he had freedom but wasn’t

31:45

experiencing it so you do you start to have the Gratitude of all the freedom that you’ve always had and you can’t you

31:50

can’t we cannot change our past right you can’t change whether or not your dad went to prison or whether or not

31:56

whatever happened in your life the trauma the challenges the adversity the struggle the pain but you can change the

32:02

story about your past and it’s not that you lie to yourself and change the story

32:07

it’s that you see what has always been true and the truth shall make you free what is true will always move you to a

32:14

powerful State and when we’re thinking something untrue it’ll move us to a primal State and that’s what keeps us

32:19

stuck is just believing things that aren’t true like I’m not good enough like things won’t work out like I

32:25

shouldn’t have done that of those things are true some form of the opposite is true and when we step into that some

32:30

form of the opposite when we discover the truth the truth sets us free so it

32:36

yeah that is the thing that I think of there is thoughts and beliefs are

32:41

different and absolutely it’s important to recognize when you have a thought that it’s not necessarily your belief

32:48

and to take have more faith in your belief than you do your thought right so your thought might be like that’s stupid

32:56

and you immediately think because I thought that I believed that MH but you don’t you know you don’t believe that

33:02

you’re stupid so why why listen to that thought and I think that’s been a hard

33:07

thing in my life and in a lot of people’s lives is that our thoughts are not our beliefs and recognizing that we

33:14

don’t have to listen to our thoughts all the time you can think whatever you want it’s your action your belief and that

33:20

thought that is going to propel you forward or backward right yeah a thought

33:25

or a belief will not evoke an emotion until you believe it but the moment you

33:30

believe a thought is the moment it evokes an emotion like you could look at me and say man your purple hair is so

33:36

ugly right I don’t have purple hair I don’t believe you I’m not worried about it but if you know as a kid people said

33:42

you know something about my red hair or how skinny I was or whatever and I believed it I chose to accept that

33:48

thought as my own it evokes an emotion and beliefs are I mean they they are

Beliefs

33:54

here right they’re in your they’re in your Your Soul Your Heart Right and and they’re unconscious yes yeah and and and

34:02

and guide you for for right or for wrong you know we see a lot of people believe

34:08

a lot of things and be incredibly convicted about their belief you know so

34:14

I I think it’s it’s definitely important to decide what what you believe for sure

34:20

yeah the majority of our beliefs were formed before the age of seven sheesh so

34:25

we all have beliefs that are conscious that we decide but then there’s most of

34:31

our beliefs are undecided and it’s not that they’re undecided every belief that we make is a decision every belief that

34:39

we make I say make but have because we do make our beliefs we create them like a belief is the meaning that you assign

34:46

to your experience it’s your choice right and so two people can experience the same thing but assign different

34:53

meaning to it one can be traumatized and the other can be empowered and that’s one of the most beautiful things about

34:59

rewiring your brain transforming your beliefs is the worst thing that happened to you can become the best thing that

35:05

happened to you not because you’ve changed what happened but because you changed the meaning that you assigned to that experience I think step coar had

35:13

Anderson Cooper on his show once and Anderson Cooper’s mother I think had

35:18

just passed away and Anderson Cooper asked stepen colar you believe that we

35:25

have to be thankful for every situation in life and Anderson Cooper kind of starts to cry and says do you really

35:32

believe that to Steven colber because he’s obviously sad that something terrible just happened to his mother and

35:39

Stephen coar responds with the and I’m gonna butcher this I’m sorry stepen coar

35:46

I know he’s listening uh I’m gonna butcher this but in a nutshell he

35:51

says uh in order to show gratitude for life we have to show gratitude ude for

35:57

all of it we we have to just be grateful for existence right life is a gift and

36:03

if life is a gift everything that happens in it is a part of that gift regardless of if it’s good or bad and I

36:10

think that that is such a it that message hit me so powerfully because

36:16

it’s easy to say like why me why me why me when bad things happen right like me and my wife struggle with infertility

36:22

and it’s easy to look at everyone else around us and be like you’re all having kids we started trying having kids two

36:27

years before you 3 years before you but to immediately just say life is a gift and even the bad things that happen in

36:34

life are a part of that journey and to recognize the good that comes from it it it shifted my mindset to believing that

36:41

and that everything was a gift and I don’t feel sadness around infertility as

36:47

often anymore because now I’m like oh this is awesome that I get to just experience life with my wife and that I

36:54

get to have all these things along the way so I gratitude is very very impactful it is so impactful and what

37:01

you’re experiencing is not a change of circumstance but a change of meaning yeah only thing that’s changed is you

37:06

still don’t have a child but your belief about that experience changed and I personally have found that through the

37:13

lens of becoming there are no such thing as problems yeah that’s awesome man well

Strong Beliefs

37:18

and I think with like Stephen cber too like he he’s got very strong beliefs he’s a very strong cath catholic

37:25

christian man and he’s very like uh I don’t know outspoken about it with

37:31

guests like he has guests that push him on that topic quite often and vice versa

37:36

um but you see it come out in him too like he’s very convicted and really

37:43

truly I I feel like believes in obviously what what he believes in and it guides everything he does too yeah um

Mitchs Personal Experiences

37:51

Okay so we’ve talked a lot about some of the principles that you do that you use uh some of the coaching things that you

37:58

do as well as some of the stories from some of the people that you coach I kind

38:04

of want to talk about Mitch a little bit and some of your personal experiences I

38:09

know that you obviously worked for Walmart you made a shift from Walmart because you felt that sense of uh

38:17

overwhelmingness and um the reason why I I made a shift from Walmart because um a company

38:25

reached out amazing opportunity and during that transition was during the

38:31

same time that I was struggling and it was just yeah they they happened

38:36

together but not as a result of not as a result because then I remember we even spoke while you were working at your

Mitchs First Client

38:44

last job and you were coaching at the time but what was the first when was the

38:50

first time you ever actually charged someone for cure yeah yeah it’s uh I’m

38:56

really EXC excited to see this client my first client this week uh I’ve got 35

39:01

clients that are flying in from all over the country to be at this event with with me and well I’m hosting a private

39:06

dinner for them and it’s going to be really special just sharing stories for them to get to know each other for the first time for me to be in person with

39:12

them to meet them in real life for the first time and uh this individual I just love so deeply because they changed my

39:20

life by being my first client right and I had experienced this self-

39:25

transformation right and was living more consistently in a powerful State and

39:31

seeing my old self and My New Self which is really not old and new but just more

39:37

or less of who I really am right because we can’t become a better version of ourselves only more of who we really are

39:43

and so I became more of who I really was and I could see with more clarity other people who were suffering and struggling

39:49

because I had admitted that I wanted and needed more from life and I could see when other people weren’t when they were

39:54

struggling but ignoring it because of this gratitude that they were hanging on to rather than this Clarity and

40:00

abundance and so one particular individual my first client posted on

40:06

LinkedIn super vulnerable post not like the vulnerable that’s like designed to get likes but the vulnerable of saying

40:12

I’m struggling does anybody have any advice for me I’m like wow that takes courage right to really just open up and

40:18

ask for help and I just sent them a DM and I said four words I can help you

40:24

that was it and I and I look back at that and it’s it’s this these four words

40:30

are what I now call the four words to making money in business as a coach as a service provider as a consultant

40:37

whatever you’re doing is I can help you so many people are trying to sell instead of serve and when I just served

40:44

and I said I can help you he said and I said I’d happy to you know be happy to spend an hour for free with you let’s talk about exactly where you’re at

40:50

exactly where you want to go and if we both see it’s a good fit we can talk about what it looks like to work together and we felt it was a perfect

40:58

fit to work together that I could because of my experiences I could uniquely help him with what he was going through because your ideal client is

41:04

always just some version of you and he was experiencing the same things that I was experiencing and so um he took 24

41:11

hours to think about it right I gave him a price and um he talked to his wife and

41:17

the first thing he said back on our follow-up call was I said how was the last 24 hours in making a decision and

41:23

he’s like it’s been crazy like the kids you know this and I’m expecting him to say we didn’t get a chance to talk about

41:30

it but he surprised me and he just said but anyway I’m all in and it was such a

41:38

beautiful moment because all I wanted to do was help him right after everything I had been

41:43

through and I knew I could help this person go from suffering to thriving or

41:49

from surviving to thriving and I gave up swearing a long time ago I just decided

41:55

not going to swear anymore and uh as soon as I hit end call a big hell yeah

42:00

just burst out of my mouth because I had experienced this beautiful moment of money and meaning be being synonymous

42:07

for the first time you know aome I uh never I never really believed in uh like

Coaching Therapy

42:14

coaching or uh Consulting and I was watching the show

42:21

Ted lasso where he’s meeting with a therapist and he starts to get mad at

42:27

her saying like you don’t care about me stop pretending to care about me like you’re charging me an hourly rate to be

42:33

here and then she turned it back on him and said well you coach a bunch of young

42:39

men and you get paid to do it like do you not love those men and it flipped

42:45

him upside down and therapy became a critical part of his life amazing and I think that that where you said money and

42:53

meaning come together is that impactful moment of recognizing I can love someone

43:00

but I have to make an income and I have to be able to provide for myself and show value and you can do that

43:06

synonymously and that flipped my head on coaching and Consulting and I don’t even think of it and this might I don’t know

43:15

how this could be interpreted but I don’t view it as a way to provide for my family even though it is the way I

43:20

provide for my family but what’s powerful about coaching and therapy any way that you’re investing in yourself is

43:27

when you see yourself when you get to the point where you see yourself as

43:32

worth spending money on that’s a something that a lot of people struggle with we’re so used to spending money on

43:38

owning things but not used to as a society spending money on owning our future we’re not used to spending money

43:45

on becoming right and that’s the most fulfilling thing we can do next to giving I think the the two ways that

43:52

I’ve spent my dollars that have been the most fulfilling are becoming specifically typically the highest form of becoming which is what I call

43:58

becoming someone who helps other people to become I think that’s the ultimate purpose of this life and then giving

44:04

Which the reason I give my wife and I have decided to give is when we see an opportunity to help to give to help

44:11

people become someone who helps other people to become and so our whole life is centered on this idea of becoming and

44:17

um that’s uh that’s what happens when you create so I don’t do it to provide

44:22

for my family even though that’s is how I provide for my family I do it I have an a price for someone to pay for

44:29

coaching so that they have a container to invest in themselves to see

44:34

themselves as worth it and then to be all in to be ready to transform because

44:40

people try to coach people for free therapy a lot of times it’s so commoditized that people show up and

44:46

it’s more of just a thing they do instead of something that they’re all in but when someone pays a significant amount of money they’re hanging on to

44:53

every word they’re ready to try every single thing and when you take action that’s when your life changes it’s not

44:59

the learning like Tony Robin says that knowledge is not power knowledge is potential power it’s applied knowledge

45:05

that’s power I love that so do you feel like

Fulfilment

45:12

uh while you were working your current job you got up to 10 customers while you

45:17

were there or no I’m sorry you were working a 40h hour work week at your normal job but you had but you were

45:24

making more money in 10 hours per week than I was in 40 yeah so how many customers did you have before you quit

45:31

uh I don’t really remember actually yeah um and talk a little bit about were you

45:37

getting any fulfillment from the job that you had yeah a lot which is really fascinating more than you felt like you

45:43

were getting even when you worked at Walmart yes and it had nothing to do with the company or the job that’s and

45:51

that’s what’s so cool about this and I say that very specifically because our circumstance

45:56

do not create our emotions and this is something that most of us don’t know we walk around believing that our

46:02

circumstances create our emotions like oh my kid just hit my other kid I’m so frustrated right or my manager chose to

46:10

be frustrated yeah my manager just gave me this horrible feedback and doesn’t understand me I feel terrible right now yeah the

46:17

circumstances we believe create our emotions but if I were to say um let’s

46:22

say somebody that you love deeply passed away a few hours ago but you don’t know about it how do you

46:28

feel right now totally fine yeah whatever you’re feeling you’ll continue to feel so the circumstance happened

46:34

someone you love passed away you don’t feel an emotion did the circumstance create an emotion for you you just ch

46:41

you just to you don’t you still don’t feel anything yet circumstances once you know about it you begin to have thoughts

46:48

it’s our thoughts that create our emotions not our circumstance and so um

46:53

I change my thoughts about my work and I decided that when every day when I

46:59

well first of all I started Living in alignment with my values I truly one of the challenges that my clients

47:05

experience is that they’re frustrated that God family friends health and hobbies are their number one priority

47:10

but that work remains their number one priority in practice right it’s a big struggle for all of us well I started

47:16

Living in a way where I was fulfilling my I was fulfilled in my relationship with God I was fulfilled with my relationship with my family I was

47:22

fulfilled with my hobbies I was fulfilled with my health and so by the time I showed up to work which was I

47:28

decided my fifth priority imagine saying that to your manager work is my fifth priority right we don’t live in a day

47:34

where people do that right but one of my mentors does and everybody in the company knows that work is his fifth priority he’s the highest performer in

47:41

the company right in his department has gotten more raises than anyone else I know while work being his fifth priority

47:49

and so I was so inspired by this I’m like that’s the way I’m going to live I’m going to live in alignment and so I started to live this way and by the time

47:56

I got to the parking lot at this company before I walked in every day I told myself this is my greatest passion

48:02

because it was true at that moment because the other four passions had been fulfilled and so I went into work loving

48:08

what I do and so one of the invitations that I consistently give clients who are unfulfilled at work which is many of us

48:15

is to never leave a job until you love it oh because it’s the ultimate indicator that you’ve become a master

48:21

self coach that you have control now of how you think and feel regard regardless of your circumstance and I found one of

48:27

my clients who is an attorney an amazing attorney but realized he was very unfulfilled as an attorney and didn’t

48:33

like it ended up realizing that what he loves to do is teach okay he loves to

48:38

teach others and he changed the meaning that he assigned to his experience

48:43

changed his belief about being an attorney and he realized that in a court of law he is a teacher he’s educating

48:50

and teaching the judge the jury everybody in that room and he fell in love with being an attorney again he

48:55

didn’t have to leave his job yeah he has great passion for it again wasn’t a circumstance wasn’t a circumstance just

Mentors

49:02

needed to change his thoughts no that’s awesome where where in your journey have

49:08

you felt like you’ve been most impacted by mentors we’ve spent a lot of time about you helping others couple mentions

49:15

of mentors but like specifically in your journey where where have mentors come in

49:21

and giv you you know advice that have you know more or less pushed you along

49:27

this path yeah I think of he’s my financial coach his name is Chris Claflin who outside of my wife and my

49:35

parents has had the greatest impact on who I am out of anyone in my entire life and he was the one that said Mitch do

49:43

you realize you view yourself as a wounded bird he was willing to challenge me and to call out and to see me clearly

49:50

for who I am but also see me for who I really am or who I could be and a a true

49:56

leader challenges and supports right if you’re just challenging you’re not a

50:02

true leader if you’re just supporting and you’re just like come Cry on My Shoulder you know I’m here for you you’re not a leader but if you challenge

50:08

and support and that’s what he did he challenged me and then he supported me he guided me to a place where I could you know become who I really am and then

50:16

the other aspect that I’ll say is that I grew up thinking like having like very few people um like one or two like one

50:23

of them being my dad another being my like my uh youth leader that I admired and I kind of went for everything for

50:29

advice and then later in life I realized it was kind of silly because no one’s an expert in all things and so the mentors

50:37

like as I think of the mentors that have had such a big impact on me is it’s been so many people and it’s one thing from

50:43

this person and one thing from this person so now for me the first thing I think of if there’s something that I

50:48

want to become the first thought I have is there’s got to be a coach that does

50:54

that and I go f find them I go invest in myself be all in in that process and save turn decades into Days by just

51:01

getting someone who’s not like doing it for their ninet to-5 and just like as a way to provide for their family even

51:07

though again coaches provide for their family by doing what they do but they’re doing it out of like their greatest passion purpose not all coaches but the

51:14

right coach right a powerful coach is doing it because that’s what they feel called to do because the crap has revealed their craft the struggles and

51:21

adversity that they’ve experienced in life has realized a better has discovered allowed them to realize and

51:26

discover a better way and now that that’s what they’re doing so I just get different things from different people when I need them and it turns decades

51:33

into days it really really has sped up my growth and it’s not about achievement it’s all about becoming and one of the

51:39

most core things to my to my belief system is that the secret of becoming is

51:45

that achievement always follows and so the moment you focus on achievement is the moment the same moment that you lose

51:51

the guarantee of achievement because we end up burning out we end up missing a run we end up feeling like the skill’s

51:57

not going down we end up whatever it is and when we focus on becoming success

52:03

becomes inevitable because we have the joy of the process the Fulfillment of the journey and then the the outcome is

52:11

just a surprise because we’re not even thinking about it and it slaps you across the face with more joy and more

52:17

fulfillment but when you focus on achievement you don’t feel the achievement because we do what what I

52:22

call Goal shifting it’s like you get there and then you normalize it your brain normalizes it and then you’re like

52:28

now on to the next thing right we do this in business we do this in life we do it everywhere um but when you’re

52:33

focused on becoming success becomes inevitable that’s awesome Arthur C

Happiness

52:39

Brooks says happiness is not a destination it’s a a

52:44

direction meaning and I guess similar to achievement right like we focus on

52:50

achievement but achievement is one thing where becoming is a concept infinite

52:56

yeah yeah and happiness I guess is the same way right like you’re never going to be happy all the time but happiness

53:03

can be a direction where we’re constantly trying to find ways to be more happy and more fulfilled really is

53:10

what we’re looking to be in life the interesting thing about setting goals or focusing on achievement is that goal

53:16

setting only works for 9% of people there’s an amazing study about New Year’s resolutions about how 59% of

53:23

people don’t set them don’t set goals for the year and then of the 41% that do only 9%

53:28

officially achieve those goals and straa the fitness tracking app that you and I are on um in 2019 they had 800 million

53:37

user logged activities and they found that January 19th was the day that most

53:43

people fell off and they deemed that day January 19th as quitters day as a

53:48

company right it’s so it’s so much of a real thing yeah and um they have the data to back it up now and going back to

53:55

this conversation of Shame like I I challenge you to find anybody that doesn’t feel like they should the shame

54:00

word should have goals we all feel like we should have goals but it only works for 9% of people so why do it why why do

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it or is there a better way which is I created the anti-g gooal mindset which is how to achieve massive results

54:14

without setting goals and one of the things that I found was that when you set a

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goal it limits you because we only can set goals from our present self from Who

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We Are today and if you could become who you really are consistently consistently live in a powerful State take daily

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consistent action over time 3 months down the road even even 30 days but

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three months six months one year from now the any goal that you would set from your present self today would look silly

54:43

to your future self to who you really are totally well it’s funny because we’ve even talked about this and I was I

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wrote a LinkedIn post about this yesterday like I had no idea what scroll was going to be mhm you can’t no clue I

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and I had a little bit of foresight into the fact that I knew I was going to keep trying but I didn’t even know I was

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going to give it four years I let alone like build it to multi-millions of dollars like at the time I think my mind

55:11

could only fathom doing $110,000 you know so to set a goal year one to do the

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millions we’ve done now wouldn’t have made sense and I guess yeah how as a company I you know it’s to forecast and

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set goals like how do you have an anti-g goal setting mind as yeah there’s a there’s a phrase that I saw um on link

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in uh like a post and they said write your goals in pen and your plans in pencil

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okay it’s it’s cool and we all love it and it goes viral every time someone posts that idea but it only works for 9%

55:46

of people remember even though we’re like we’re like yeah that’s good okay but we’re gonna flip that and that’s

55:52

what I do in my life which is I write my goals in my plans in pen and my goals in

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pencil okay I write my plans in pen and my goals and pencil and the difference

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is is that it’s not that you can’t have goals if it works for you you’re one of the 9% keep doing it it’s great but if

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it doesn’t then you can create something that I feel is more deep and more fulfilling which is creating vision for

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yourself for imagining and seeing your future as the way you want it to be I have an exercise that I take that I do

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myself that I give my clients which is called your perfect day or I call it in five years and you just write down

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there’s like tons of questions and it’s everything you want your you imagine your life feeling and looking like and

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one of the things that I wrote down is just feel so silly but that I wear Lululemon pants every day here I am

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wearing Lululemon pants and um what I what I’ve oh heck yeah what I’ve consistently found is

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that where there’s no vision the people perish so in a business you do need

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Vision but when it’s your Focus you lose the guarantee of that Vision coming into

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reality and if you do achieve that vision and that purpose it will be

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limited because you had created it from your future self from your present self and so by detaching from the outcomes by

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writing your goals in pen and your plans in pencil by showing up consistently the

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thing I love about pen is that pen Fades if you don’t maintain it right so you can set the goals as a company you can

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not have them be the main focus but rather Focus on becoming helping your people love the process love the work

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they’re doing love who they are become more of who they really are instead of trying to fit people into the box that

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you think they should be as a manager and create another version of you which is what a lot of people do like really lean into strengths of your individual

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of of your employees which is not strengths are not always something that you’re good at which the corporate world

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wants to squeeze everything out of everyone of what they’re good at and they bucket them and pigeon hole and

57:53

Corner them into like their strengths and that’s what they do and like they become very unfulfilled because they’re doing the thing that they are good at

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but it isn’t actually a strength because a strength is not what you’re good at a strength is what makes you feel alive

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and when you focus on becoming and do what makes you feel alive you actually have the greatest capacity to become way

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better at that than what your typical classified strengths are because you’re living from a place of power and from a

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powerful State you can do nothing but create powerfully so so Mitch there’s a lot of uh obviously you’re a great coach

How to pick a good coach

58:24

you have a lot of great insights but something Dan and I have talked about in the past too is like there’s all these

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people who sell courses there’s all these people who are that a lot of people just consider like scam artists

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that sell courses or coaching because they really don’t have anything of value

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or they’re just ripping off the next guy how can people be aware of how to pick a good coach versus

58:48

someone who yeah might just be selling a course that they’ve duplicated or a

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program they’ve duplicate or something like that yeah like what makes a good

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coach someone just on LinkedIn was just they commented I shared a post and they

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were like saying like wow this is an amazing pitch for coaching like I wasn’t pitching coaching and so I told him I

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said if you if you think this is a pitch maybe you want to be sold because that’s the perspective you’re coming you know

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to this and I thought that was really interesting and he’s he messaged me and said yeah I actually love to be sold

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when it’s the right thing but been skeptical of coaching in the past and he’s and he asked the same question of

59:29

like how do you uh find the right coach I don’t have the best answer for

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this because the coaches that I’ve worked with have felt so godsent like one of

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them came through a Facebook ad okay awesome another one like was someone

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that I met at church amazing another one was someone that was referred to me from

59:51

someone else that I admired and was doing what I wanted to do and they point pointed me in that direction um so

59:57

there’s I I can’t like say like yeah go you know they’re all different channels I can’t like tell people how to find but

1:00:04

what I can invite people to do is to be very open to investing in themselves and

1:00:11

be very open to looking for help for asking for help because most of us aren’t asking for help like it’s very

1:00:17

very rare for anybody to ever even get on a consultation with a coach very people few people St I istically do that

1:00:25

in their lifetime let alone like move forward and invest in themselves so this guy who wants to be sold you know

1:00:32

whether he really does or not I think he really does because I personally love to be sold when what the seller what the

1:00:39

Creator the coach the person is saying deeply resonates with my soul and so I’m

1:00:45

just looking for messaging of people talking about you know what they’ve been through and what they’ve experienced and

1:00:50

what their Solutions are and how they help people and when it’s exactly what what I’ve experienced I’m not a

1:00:56

skeptical right so alignment yeah just alignment when it’s just like yeah you’re speaking exactly Into the Heart

1:01:04

of that I have the thoughts that I have and you have what I want and if it ends up being a duplicate of someone else or

1:01:10

some scam like you’re going to feel you’re going to feel that very quickly I personally have not experienced it and I

1:01:16

think part of whether or not something is um is feels like a scam to you is if you

1:01:24

go into it believing it yeah you get what you put into something circumstance

1:01:29

and even if you are like scammed more or less I I can’t remember I saw there was this woman and she had posted about like

1:01:36

spending an insane amount of money basically on on personal growth right and she felt like even on on some of the

1:01:44

people that she’d spent a lot of money on she wasn’t fulfilled then and then on some people she’d spent a little bit of

1:01:50

money with and felt a lot of fulfillment and she had realized now that she’s a

1:01:55

coach she’d realize she’s like it it really like I actually learned more now

1:02:03

looking back from even the time that I had spent more money and hadn’t been fulfilled because now I know what not to

1:02:08

do or what to do right and she just obviously mindset shift on like

1:02:13

investment in herself and I think that that’s huge like alignment is totally huge and I think you need to find people

1:02:21

that are probably uh either again it’s this wanting to become the person that you

1:02:27

want to become right you you want to find people who are probably already at or or have same amount of experience as

1:02:35

you so that you can learn from them that are just a few steps ahead yeah that’s what you want it doesn’t have to be the

1:02:41

ultimate coach like it doesn’t have to be the perfect person but if they’re a few steps ahead of you and they can give you one distinction that changes your

1:02:47

life it’s worth it and that’s for me like all of my clients get the full value of their coaching within our first

1:02:54

session I’m convinced of that I’ve heard that from many of my clients over and over and over again and I’ll tell you

1:02:59

you know a story that taught me this principle which was I was hanging out with a friend and he’s a coach and we

1:03:05

were playing a yard game in his backyard it’s called bottle bash I don’t know if you’ve ever played this game oh yeah

1:03:11

it’s it’s very fun it’s like this 5 foot little thin steak in the ground and you put a plastic bottle on top of this disc

1:03:19

and then you throw a frisbee to try to hit the bottle off and if you’re coordinated you’re no longer coord

1:03:24

playing this game because when the Frisbee hits the bottle you all by

1:03:29

yourself have to catch the Frisbee and the bottle before it hits the ground and it’s going everywhere right and I’m a

1:03:35

competitive person I typically I like to win things I also typically win things right I don’t know if I just like will

1:03:41

it and just stay calm you know and present and just I don’t know it works out a lot of times and I’m getting

1:03:47

destroyed by my friend absolutely destroyed and in the middle of the game he says can I give you a tip and I said

1:03:53

yeah i’ love it you know and he said perfect I’ll wait till after this game CU I want to destroy you so he smoked me

1:04:00

uh 21 to8 okay so no competition here

1:04:06

after the game he said are you ready and I said I’m ready he said right now your foot is pointed exactly where you want

1:04:12

the Frisbee to go turn your foot exactly perpendicular to where you want the Frisbee to go and watch how it changes

1:04:19

the game felt very uncomfortable for me very awkward very counterintuitive but I

1:04:24

did it and I start hitting this tiny steak like I don’t know 20 feet away three and four times in a row and I have

1:04:31

no experience with the Frisby like very little experience and I ended up beating him by six points that very G next game

1:04:37

and he said if that’s not the power of coaching I don’t know what is that’s beautiful yeah that’s awesome

1:04:44

it’s the small distinctions that can permanently change your life that that make coaching worth it so you don’t have

1:04:50

to like find this coach that has it all but if you come from a place of Desire

1:04:55

of willingness of openness ready to ask for help ready to learn ready to apply to do the things that you learn then you

1:05:03

may never be the same I can never throw a Frisbee with my toe pointed forward again I will always have my foot

1:05:09

perpendicular and there’s just certain things like that that we learn when we understand our conscious thinking in a way that applies and sometimes a course

1:05:16

doesn’t do that for you yeah that’s that’s the beautiful thing that I’ve Loved about one-on-one coaching or group

1:05:21

coaching spending time with real people not just on screen is that it’s very high touch very personal very custom and

1:05:28

gets to the core of your challenges your unconscious beliefs and allows you to rewire your brain instead of just

1:05:35

learning something cool that might reframe your thought so what’s the what’s the next thing for you Mitch like

1:05:42

what what’s one what’s Mitch’s Vision Two what are your uh pen pen to paper

1:05:48

plans to get to your business yeah what’s the fiveyear uh perfect day look like yeah uh for me me like the first

1:05:54

thought that I have is that it’s just all about becoming so I’m really truly focused I have zero goals for my

1:06:00

business or for my life and it’s really amazing because I’ve exceeded every goal that I

1:06:06

ever set before like tenfold literally tfold and so I’m just focused on

1:06:12

becoming and I know that the secret of becoming is that achievement always follows and so for example like I’m on

1:06:19

podcasts I’m making video because podcast and videos used to really scare me so it’s just literally doing this not

1:06:25

to get more clients not to grow my business but to become someone who can speak and share his message in in the

1:06:31

most impactful way possible and the way I do that is by doing the things that scare me um and so but this week I mean

1:06:38

this week is a big week um in terms of what’s next for me I’ve just flown in from Arkansas last night here on this

1:06:44

podcast I’ll be on another podcast in studio this week um I have VIP access to

1:06:50

Tony Robbins Gary vaynerchuk Jim quick uh um who else Jesse ller Dean grao is

1:06:56

the amazing jer’s like my favorite person of all time by the way it’s gonna be so fun so fun um for the two-day

1:07:02

event silicon slope Summit um the Wednesday night after the first day of the event I’m hosting 35 of my clients

1:07:08

for a private dinner the next night I’m hosting with 10 Creator friends from LinkedIn an event where we have 300

1:07:15

RSVPs of people that we know and love and some of them we don’t know but we love and we can’t wait to meet um and

1:07:22

then good to see my dad this week get to see my my grandma and my grandpa um

1:07:27

hopefully some other family that I’m that I’m in town to see and then just raising my kids just loving my wife like

1:07:34

that’s really the most the thing I’m most excited about is I’m just protecting my values and living from my

1:07:40

values rather than towards them and um just trying to act like a puppy on the

1:07:46

ground with my daughter as much as possible and wrestle my boy and I know we talked about uh LinkedIn is really

1:07:52

the only platform you’re on as a social media uh so is

1:07:57

that where people can find you and reach out are you yeah yeah you can reach out on LinkedIn that yeah that’s the only way to find me and um I create content

1:08:05

daily generally I have a lot of Grace for myself so I don’t feel like I should post every day but when I can and I want

1:08:10

to I do even on weekends yep I don’t post on weekends no weekends no very rarely very very rarely yeah Monday

1:08:17

through Friday awesome well we could have an entire episode too talking about the way

1:08:23

you structure your work now cuz I know that you obviously went from the 40 to

1:08:28

50 hour work week to a big change in your work week now um and I’d love to

1:08:35

even maybe do like an episode two on that sometime because I’m sure we could talk for hours on that oh yeah but this

1:08:43

has been crazy insightful for us I feel like we just scored so good best free

1:08:49

coaching session of all time I love it no you’re so nice really I’m super glad we can make it work especially this week

1:08:54

while you’re thanks for the invite it’s so fun oh my gosh anytime this is great we’re excited to continue our our

1:09:00

friendship so again we we we really appreciate the time Mitch maybe leave on your your single

1:09:09

piece of advice for someone wanting to make a change in their life yeah thing

1:09:15

that comes to mind is something that I don’t actually often share but there’s a lot of amazing resources out there an

1:09:21

infinite amount of resources but there’s only one thing that is the source of all

1:09:27

change and it’s God if you don’t believe in God try it if you do believe in God

1:09:32

believe in him a little bit more and uh you’ll be guided to the resources that you need for yourself it might be a

1:09:37

coach it might be something else but that’s the true resource love it thank

1:09:42

you MIT appreciate it well this has been awesome Mitch thank you for coming on we’re definitely going to have to do a

1:09:48

round two sometime we love it and uh if you haven’t heard of Mitch whing look

1:09:54

him up on LinkedIn um and please I I know Mitch is always willing to

1:09:59

communicate with people I know that you also do uh free consultations for people

1:10:05

that’s right yeah I could tell you who I support right because it’s not for everybody most people that I have

1:10:10

consultations with I end up not giving them an offer to work with me only if they’re truly my ideal client and my

1:10:16

ideal client is family centered leaders and entrepreneurs who are ready to admit

1:10:21

that they want and need more from life like we’ve talked about today and who want to become the man or woman that

1:10:27

they’re meant to be for two reasons not for more money not for more Fame not for more recognition but to be happy with

1:10:34

themselves and deeply present with their family and that’s what I that’s what I call Deep success so we’re not chasing

1:10:40

success together which my clients already have plenty of it right even if sometimes they feel like Unworthy of it

1:10:47

um but deep success which is the ability to sit in the Peace of the Silence of your own soul without any need for d

1:10:53

distraction or escape to be happy with yourself and deeply present with your family and so if that’s interesting to you and you want further support I offer

1:11:00

a free consultation one hour one-on-one with me to just get clear on exactly where you are exactly where you want to

1:11:06

be and how we can bridge that cap how we can create the life that you’re looking to create um and if we both feel like

1:11:11

it’s a good fit we can talk about what it looks like to work together awesome well Mitch this has been awesome thank

1:11:17

you so much and good luck with all the events this week it’s going to be fun excited for you fun it’s going to be awesome man yeah so

1:11:24

that’s a wrap that’s a WP scroll sessions thank you

1:11:33

everybody

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